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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How I Survived a Divorce at 24 with 2 Kids!


Whelp, I was a 24 year old mom to my 2 1/2 year old daughter and my three week old son when my ex-husband walked out on us...He decided he did not want to be married anymore and couldn't take (in picture: kiersten almost 3 and preston at 5 months)
being a full time father...So it was just the three of us...the kids and I...no job...cause I was a stay at home mom at the time....and no money.....just the house he left us in...but he kicked us out 7 months later and sold our home....So how did we survive? One day at a time....it was tuff....I stayed in the home for that 7 months before he sold it... made him pay the payments on all the bills...mortgage, electric, phone....I got Wic for my kids and I ate very little food...I decided that I better lose weight anyhow since I had a gained a ton during my second pregnancy....so I turned vegetarian...which of course helped on the food bill....and btw it works...I lost all of my pregnancy weight gain.....
So anyhow ...luckily my three week old did not have colic like my daughter had at that age, or I prolly would have lost my mind....I took a night class on computers while my mother watched my kids thankfully....and when my ex made the kids and I move out of the house he was paying for, I did like a lot of single moms do... I moved in with my mother for sometime....After finding a job and getting the kids into daycare I finally saved up enough money to move into our own
(in picture: me, kiersten and preston in 2004)
apartment...I worked full time and then picked the kids up from daycare for a full night...living as cheaply as we could in a not so great place..but it was enough for us...When I went through hard times like trying to pay for heating gas.... I was one of the lucky ones and was able to ask my parents for help and support...without them I really don't know where we would be today....It takes a lot of love, hard work and remembering
that you can do this by yourself...when you are a single parent you can feel lost at times...but remembering that your children are worth every minute of the struggles is what keeps you going...believe me I did not think I would be where I am at today....I dated allot of course while my kids were young I remember thinking good grief I will never meet anyone....but I did 7 years later...My hubby Terry is a wonderful man...he is loving and supporting..even when I decided to home school my oldest..he said go for it...he wanted me to stay at home and raise our children...which of course I was very happy to do...it's what I have wanted all along....so to all of you single mom's out there don't give up on what you want...make it happen.....get rid of the pride and use social services if you need to and don't be shy about asking for help...weather it be needing someone to babysit for you or to take your child to school for you when you are sick...and if it is a man you want and you feel he is never going to come....don't worry about .....go on with life you don't need a man to live..I promise...and one day when you are not even thinking about a man or if he will ever show up.... he might just show up on your computer screen like mine did... :)

On the family side: Both of my older kids are home from camp now and my niece is here for the week...we have been studying space so far this week with the homeschooling we visited the Planaterium on Sunday and last night we broke out the old telescope to look at the moon..very cool...we stayed up till early this morning trying to catch some meteors from the shower that is going on this week...but it was not that great of a show...so we all went to bed...we are going to check it out again tonight just in case it is any better..but I doubt it....I am also taking the kids on a field trip tomorrow to a space museum...that ought to be fun...I am taking all five by myself...I will let you know how it goes..lol....my son Tristan is right in love with his cousin and cuddles up to her while watching TV at night...and my youngest son is getting over his ear infection but is having nasty diapers because of the meds...yuck......And last but not least this Friday my youngest step sister is getting married.....cannot wait to see the wedding....I know she is going to be a beautiful bride....okay, well that is it for now.....
Later Tators!

8 comments:

Christina M. said...

You go girl. :)

harassedmomsramblings said...

WOW thats a really amazing story!!

I also wouldnt have managed to leave my ex had it not been for my parents!!!

And congrats to your step sister!

Nina said...

Your post is so inspiring.
My cousin recently lost her husband in an auto accident and my heart goes out to her because she has three kids and is expecting a fourth.
Your story is an insperation and it is just the instperation she needs as she deals with this major change in her life.

Tiffiney said...

Thank you Christina!

Harassed, parents are a life savor for sure! Sounds like we were both blessed with great parents! :) And thank you for the congrats for step sis..her wedding was beautiful!

Nina, Thank you for your kind words, I pray your cousin and her family receive all the support and love from all of their family and friends to help them pick up the pieces and move on into a new life with new beginnings! She has a good start with a cousin that sounds so caring. :)

Armysdaughter said...

Hello,

I read ur blog with my teary eyes.Yeah u are so inspiring.My husband is cheating on me.And he is now with his woman.He was suppossed to be home since he got back fom Iraq coz he's in the military..He never called us but with his woman they were talkin everyday even at midnight.Anyways..Ur story so wonderful..

Tiffiney said...

armysdaughter, first off thank you for writing your comment...it touched my heart to know you are going through such a hard time! I choose to write a comment back on my blog so others will have a chance to read this! I did not go into my entire background on this particular blog because I did not want to trash talk my ex but so much...but after reading your comment, I decided what the hell...My ex was having an affair while I was pregnant with our second child..he had been going to kickboxing class and met his women there...of course he was sneaking around and having a blast with his new women while my 2 year old and I were at home...sure sign your hubby is cheating...he goes out and buys new underwear!!! Anyway, to make a long story short...he decided after our son was born he had had enough of being a husband and father and wanted to go out and have fun with his new women...so he walked out in the middle of the night when our child turned 3 weeks old...and he didn't come back....like I said in my blog it was tough...but it is not impossible...it was hard dealing with the fact that my husband had had an affair...but I got over it..and actually became friends with his girlfriend (they are not together anymore)...see I have come to believe that things happen for a reason....his girlfriend had done a huge favor for me....she made my ex leave!! The best thing that could have happened to us...I know that sounds weird...but it was the best thing...it was hard at times...specially with the issues when I was with a new men...is he going to cheat on me? Which still is a bother to me..but my now hubby knows what I have gone through and understands my freaking out from time to time! But anyway, I dated lots of wonderful guys and I figured out in all that dating and alone time..who I was...and what I wanted out of life for me and my kids....and hey...7 years later...I got all that I wanted!! So keep your head held high and do what is right for you and your kids...and remember that everything will be okay...just have patience and you to will see the reason why this all happened...you will get your cake and ice cream and be happy again..it just takes time....and hey remember that you are a hot, intelligent, woman....and you are entitled to happiness...as long as you remember that...happiness will come your way!! :)

American in Norway said...

You have a very interesteing blog. Bless... you have been through some tough stuff... So happy you have met a wonderful man & your kids are doing so well. Hang in there, you will meet friends... take it from a girl has moved 20 times. : )

Tiffiney said...

Norway, thank you for your comment..wow 20 times...I could not imagine having to pack all of our stuff that many times...lol..I felt like we needed an 18 wheeler to move this last time...I am hopeful to meet some new friends soon, we are starting a new homeschool group...and it seems as tho there will a nice group of women to chat with! :)