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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Post to Deadbeat Dad's!

Hello everyone, Just to let you know ahead of time this is going to be a complaint post!! Reason being I am tired of dealing with my ex-husband! Shocker right, how many other women in the world are sick of their ex's???? I just do not understand why anyone would not want to see or at least call their children. Now I know I need a break from my kids every once in a while, but come on...a six month to a year break? Also, with the economy being the way it is..and us living on one income..don't you think ex that you should pay your child support on time? I mean really you make way over the amount of most couples income put together. Do I need to show you how to write a check again? Here is a sample....


And here is another sample on how to use the phone.....



And even better sample questions on what to ask when buying things for your children...you know the one's you really know nothing about....Just a few to start you off!
What size are they in?
What do they like?
What are their allergies again?
What grade are they in again?

Now to be fair I will tell you my blogging friends, he has not always been this bad..Way back and yes that is wayyyyy back, he use to get his children every other weekend. Now to be honest this was when he was dating the girl that he an affair with, while married to me...but all in good nature she did me a favor and I loved her for that!! (Favor being....got rid of my ex for me) But as soon as he broke things off with her...his children went to the bottom of his list of priorities...this also happened around the same time I got married to my new hubby...anyone see a connection here?? I can see my ex saying..."Oh, she's married now...let her new man deal with all of it!" Well, let me tell you if I could pick up my family and just move far away and not have to deal with ex ever again...it would be fine with me...See you don't get under my skin for the things you say or do to me...it's the things you don't say or the support you don't give to your children that gets under my skin!! You don't want to see your kids, you don't want to support your kids...then give me full custody and be on your merry way....my kids do not need you popping in and out of their lives and giving them hope that you will come around more!! You will regret the fact you did not spend time with your kids..and when your children figure things out....because I do not make up stories for you anymore..have not for a long while!!! I am not going to make myself look like the mean one..keeping their father away from them...oh no....not doing it....this is all on you ex.....and when the day comes when your children have finally given up on you and realize who and what you are....it will be to late for you to get the relationship you crave so much in your old age....and you know what I am going to say......................................... You couldn't take the time with them when they were younger...now they can't take them with you when you are older....You did this to yourself!!!

Okay, sorry had to get that out!!!! How many of you are dealing with something like this? Or know someone who is dealing with this? I have a feeling it is allot of people. Because when I was in court to get my child support upped there were soooooooooo many people in there who have not paid their child support..some went to jail and others just got off somehow...some of these men and women are like 50,000.00 dollars behind or more!!! DEADBEATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now off to something more refreshing!!!! :)

On the family side: We all had a wonderful time on Thanksgiving at my mom's. All of my extended family came over and we had a great time..and as usual my mother being the wonderful southern cook she is had a very tasty and extra large meal...yes people I gained that five pounds!! And it was oh so yummy!! We also had a double birthday party..my mom's bday was the day before Thanksgiving and my daughter Kiersten's 13th is this Sunday..so while everyone was down we did the a party for both...It was great!! :)
Hubby, I and the kids did stay the night in NC Thanksgiving night. Cause my mother and I got up at 3:30am to go shopping for Black Friday! We were at Kohl's at 4:00am when it opened and had a blast...we stood in line that started all the way at the back of the store and round the corner...lol...long line...then off to Wal-Mart we went...line was much shorter there! Then we hit Target, Best Buy, BJ's and Michael's...We had a flipping blast...Love Black Friday! It is so much fun going out and seeing the crazy people out shopping..some still in their PJ's! And everyone was NICE!!! Anyway, got some good deals and had the mother daughter bond time and got home at 9:30am...just in time to..the kids were just getting up!!!! So what do I do when we get home?? Nap!!! :) (my hubby took this while I was snoozing!) Got a chance to see my dad and step mom to while we were down...so that was an extra bonus!! Whelp, the rest of the week we have just been hanging out...doing the work and school thing..and trying to get ready for Christmas..still need to put the tree and decorations up..will try to do that this weekend!! I hope you all have a wonderful week!!!
Later Tators!

37 comments:

harassedmomsramblings said...

Yip I know all about dead beat dads!!

And like you I WISH he would just give me custody and be done with it! But these games he plays with his kids just pisses me off!!

..::Tail wags && butt sniffs::.. said...

Ditto mommy!! I love it!! I have a couple of DBD's to contend with - UGH!!!

Flag_Mtn_Hkrs said...

To be honest there are deadbeat mothers too. I had to deal with one and have many kids in my classes where the situation is the same. Lets not just hit on the men because it is fun and easy to do. Any parent that forsakes their children are deadbeats.

Tiffiney said...

Thank you all for your comments..


Flag mtn hkrs..I totally agree with you...I know of some deadbeat mom's myself...i just focused on the men in this post..due to the fact that my ex is a man...it was more dedicated to him...lol...thanks for the comment... :)

Stephanie said...

I'm feeling for you...I know men and women alike who do this....to their kids. What a sad situation for all involved.

~Hugs!

Crystal said...

My brother is one of those deadbeat dads and I HATE what he is doing to his sons.

Zen Ventures said...

OH MY GOSH WOMAN! That's a lot to take. You're ex is soooo baaaddd! Dunno what's wrong with this ex-es. I visited one blog and she has the same problem with the Ex. yikes! I'm sorry to hear this. I hope he gets his act together b4 it's too late.

"The Queen in Residence" said...

I am so sorry that you have to deal with that. What a (fill in the blank here)! The sad thing is what it does to the kids, as much as he is a jerk, the kids still want their dad. I can tell that your husband is a great dad replacement and they can see what a real man does and is. So sorry, but glad that you had a great thanksgiving holiday, it looked great and so glad that you survived black friday, what a mess elsewhere.

iceah said...

boy, you really are pissed off my friend :c he really deserves some scolding and all :c

Happy Birthday to Kiersten hope her father gave her more love and support as she grows to be a teenager be praying for you all c:

Tiff you deserve a break c:hope you'll get one c:

Mimi said...

That's so sad, my father is about $100,000 or more behind on child support for my brother and I. And that is what he owed 8 years ago when I turned 18! But he is honestly crazy (he is paranoid schizophrenic...) in the divorce settlement he only asked for a set of kitchen knives, a box of yellow nails, and some property in new mexico... nothing about my brother or I, yet still he found the time to write legislation that the state of Utah passed about losing your license if you deny the joint custody parent rights to see their children (he obviously forgot that there is a restraining order preventing him from seeing us!) Anyway I hope your situation gets better, I don't know what else to say except for I like your spunk! You are hilarious! (I got your blog from the cafemom thread).

Susie said...

You know I don't get it either. I actually am a non-custodial parent and I would move heaven and earth (and often did), to get time with my daughter. There is no excuse for not seeing your kids.

Nina said...

I feel for you and for your kids. I will never understand how a father could not want to do everything for their kids. I know I would never walk away from my kids and not be their for them always. My in-laws are raising my neices and nephew because my sister-in-law is a dead beat mom and her ex is a dead beat dad. It is really pretty sad. They should be enjoying the prime of their life and instead they are raising a 4, 2 & 18month old.

Sounds like you had a blast on Black Friday. My best part of it was the deals at The Childrens Place. I wasn't up at 3 AM by any means, it was more like 9 when we left the house.
The photo was cute!!!

Texas Mom said...

Everyone's entitled to vent once in a while. My ex owes $40,000.00 and he hasn't tried to contact or see his son in more than 3 years.

HIS LOSS!!! God forbid, when he's on his deathbed and his life flashes before his eyes. The FACT of the matter is, when we take our last breath, the most important things will come to mind -- not our fancy car, fancy houses, and bank accounts. It's FAMILY. It's people and there's lots of regrets on neglected relationships!

Our children, money cannot buy. Thank God, I'm not a deadbeat Mom. My kids need me and my son has the most WONDERFUL stepdad, who truly IS his DAD in every sense! DNA in this case, doesn't make a "dad" or a "father"...

Glad to hear you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! U were very brave to shop that early! I didn't venture out until after 2!!! hehe

Liberal I am. Bona fide I be. said...

What a fab post!!! I hate that you are going through this. :( I am so sorry he has to be a double douche fairy!

I have limited internet access so it's hard for me to post lately. :( Suck. I can't even access my forum I frequent! Almost like a deadbeat dad internet problem.

Thanks for the comments love! I hope he gets his karma soon.

Liberal I am. Bona fide I be. said...

I wanted to give you an award to put on your blog, but I can't figure out how! Here is the link to it:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stina_istired/3079887743/

Jennifer said...

Yeah, my dad wasn't so great about paying on time either. We lived a few states away, so we didn't have to deal with the weekend mess. And he ALWAYS had us come out in summer and xmas. He's a pretty good dad, in general!

Lian said...

Like you said, it'll come back and bite him one day.

Amy Boyack said...

Too funny. I like the pictures of the check and phone. Nice that you can keep your sense of humor with all else you have going on. As a divorcee, I know what you mean. Been there, done that. I'm so glad things have changed for me and that the situation is much better, now. Hang in there.

Momza said...

Well, I can say I've been there, done that. But the best part is that 10 years away from it, my kids know who loves them. They get it. And my ex's behavior reminds me why I divorced him and that was the best thing for me and the kids. Hang in there and don't waste too much energy on him.
As a wise teenager once told me,"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." true true true

krissy said...

Just thank God you are not still with him, and have peace knowing that there is someone out there who is perfect for each and every one of us. May he find his perfect mate!

I, too, have been there and done that! YUK

pisceshanna said...

Wow how eerily similar your story is to mine. I wonder if I will get remarried 6 years later? (holds breath). I have not recieved a child support payment in 2 months.

Thanks for the rant. I fully enjoyed it!

Rachael said...

So sorry you have to deal with that deadbeat! It's good to vent sometimes...you did a very articulate job of it too!
Your Thanksgiving looked really fun though and I am SO impressed with your Black Friday adventures! You are one brave woman ;-)
Thanks for visiting my blog...I'll be back to see you!

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

Get 'em girl! Woo! I'm sure you feel a whole lot better getting that all out! By the way, thanks for continuing to comment on my blog! I know I havent been around much but I am getting back in the swing of things!

Anonymous said...

You can be a father but it takes a lot to be a dad. For sure he is not. To see a child who looks up to you and then get crushed to know their dad has no time or cares if his own flesh and blood needs a new pair of shoes or clothes on their backs or food on the table. Who does not care if their hearts are breaking because their dad no longer cares if he sees them or hear their voice on the telephone. He will regret that one day because they will soon be grown and will care less if they see or hear his voice. I only hope and pray for my grandchildren sakes he will stop and look back and see what heartache he has done to his children and make up the wrong he has done..love you all mom & nana

hippos toes said...

That is just too bad. I don't understand WHY!!!! What is the matter with these deadbeats?? It's very sad.

Gale said...

so sorry you have to deal with all that. Where in Canada is your husband from? I am from Canada!

College Mom's Blog said...

OMG Terry!! Thank you! Thank you! LOL! I'm going to refer your blog-this blog to my ex and see if he learned anything from it! (probably not!)

LOL! Omg! Amen!

Smocha said...

My 3 sons are grown now. My ex paid me ONE child support payment . That was only because he was jailed. He promptly skipped the state after that one payment.

He chose to literally live in a shack and work "under the table" to keep from having to pay child support.

My kids are now in their 20's and the bastard owes me over $150,000.00 in child support.

He never called them, visited , nothing.

He only robbed himself of being loved by 3 awesome human beings.

I feel for you and your kids.

chubskulit said...

that must be very hard tiff and i understand how you feel.. I'll feel the same way if were on your shoes... Gosh!

My husband on the other hand is different situation, he is paying a support to his ex's other kid that wasn't his due to his promise to his mom... wel,, all i can do is to support my husband with it..

misty said...

at least you snooze after feeling all these... have an award to refresh you...

joops said...

Men like your ex don't have balls in them... NO SHAME at all!

BPOTW said...

Wow, it's a shame that his self absorbed behavior is really affecting his kids. That's just wrong.

I'm glad you had a great time at Thanksgiving though! I love going out shopping with all the crazies!

Elizabeth said...

I'm glad you have the support of your new husband in raising 4 children, who look like a joy, BTW!

Stop by my blog, I'm having a giveaway!

Gombojav Tribe said...

Glad your Thanksgiving was lovely! Keepin' your eyes on the positive things, right! :-)

I can't believe you went shopping on Black Friday! I never have. I have never seen a deal worth losing my precious, precious sleep over! LOL!

Channon said...

What a wank. I've been there, still am. The child support started to become an issue but luckily on my end, the ex is active duty Army and all I did was make a phone call and that's not been an issue since. But the visitation is a whole other story. Anyone that does this kind of thing to their children is an outright loser.

Chris said...

I can understand how you feel. My ex is over $70,000 behind (plus all medical, etc). Hasn't seen his kids in 10 years, or talked to them in 8 years. I just don't get it. He is finally getting his day in court soon. Not sure what is going to happen, but I can only hope there's some sort of resolution.

Tiffiney said...

Thank you all for your comments!! I can see I am not the only one with a Deadbeat ex....Thank goodness for wonderful parents!!!!

Chris I hope to see you again soon on here...if you have a blog let me know so I can visit yours :)

Thank you mom for your comment!! You are one of my rocks in life for sure..love you!